Wetin dey good about having plenti lovers?

Many pipo mostly men don comot to say dem go prefer to dey involved in group sex.

In fact, group sex na di most popular sexual fantasies for world with more women wey don go on to cari out dis fantasies dem.

But to get plenti lovers dem dey normal? And e fit make more pipo to dey happy?

Shey make we go back to di times wen we bin no dey monogamous?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) na type of relationship wey di pipo wey dey couple dey allow demselves to get relationships.

From Polygamy, to polyamory (wey be wen three pipo dey inside relationship with each oda), or swinging (wen couples dey exchange partners) to oda types of "open" relationships.

Di one tin wey dey similar for dis kain relationships na sat do partners dey siddon to tok and gree about how far dem fit carry dia "openness" reach.

Even as monogamy don be like di normal tin now, humans dey very intersected to knack pesin wey no be dia partner. Psychologist Justin Lehmiller do research into di mata and find say threesome na di most popular fantasy by far.

Amy Muise, assistant professor of psychology at York University in Toronto, Canada tok say about 21% of pipo don dey non-monogamous relationship at some point for dia life.

How dis kain relatioship gp affect dia welbeing no dey clear but research dey say im fit dey more fulfilling than monogamous relationships.

When monogamy first start?

E still no dey clear wen monogamy take start gan-gan for human beings. However, some anthropologists don look di fact say human beings from before bin dey very sexually dimorphic, wey mean say dem bin dey different shapes and size bin mean say dem bin dey practice non-monogamy.

Dis na on top say different animals wey dey sexually dimorphic dey decide on mates based on strength and sometimes looks we fit give room for dat hkain tin.

Also scientists, bin find say di way di Y chromosome bin no dey diverse show say due to non-monogamy, na only few men bin get babes to kpansh around dat time.

We also sabi from archaeology say humans bin stay for small, close extended family groups.

Dis one fit mean say dem dey kpansh around dat group so you no go fit pick genetic siblings.

Dem we move to di time wey man bin dey hunter-gatherers societies wey one model say fit be serially monogamous. Dat one mean say man and woman go stay togeda until di pikin don stop to di suck breast and dem na off to di next one.

Dis model show to get more advantages for men dem, which fit be whyy men dis days like to dey open relationship.

Wetin we sabi say as at now 85% of human societies do gree for some forms of non-monogamy. Even di old testament Bible bin get polygamy.

But some sabi pipo don tok say di reason behind di widespread of monogamy as normal fit dey because of di media and also ownership of land on top say man bin wan carry dia property give dia future pikin.

And dat na wh dem claim say monogamy and heterosexuality dey "normal".

E dey beta to see oda pipo?

Plenti research into CNM show say e dey get benefits wen di partners dem get different sexual interests dey handle plenti lovers on top say e dey more fulfilling.

But wetin neva clear na di long term benefits on top say does kain studies neva dey ground.

Some studies, however, don start to dey feel dat gap. One do questionnaires give couples wey bin no dey consider di CNM lifestyle and compare answers between does wey dem consider open relationships and odas wey decide to keep am closed.

Samantha Joel, assistant professor of social psychology at Western University in London, Canada tok say pipo wey consider and do am find say dia dem dey way more satisfied while those wey no gree do am find say dia satisfaction drop small.

Dem tok say di reason na say sexual satisfaction na on top say di expectation of satisfaction bin no dey di head of di primary partner alone.

How you fit handle jealousy?

Well sabi pipo tok say yo fit see di benefits of CNM wen both primary partners dey interested in seeing di oda pesin dey happy without say na im cause di happineess or di satisfaction.

Dis na wetin psychologists dey call compersion, wey means say you get pleasure by say anoda pesin get pleasure.

For instance wen you dey watch pesin open present but e also dey wen yo see pesin dey sexually satisfied.

So how pipo for CNM relationships dey conquer jealousy?

Well, Katherine Aumer, a researcher at Hawaii Pacific University write for her study say men dey feel jealous for sexual infidelity instead of emotional infidelity sake of di paternity of dia pikin based on evolution.

However for women, na emotional infidelity dey make dem jealous pass on top sa dem dey look for man to provide food and protection for dem and if im emotion dey somewhere else id women and her pikin no go get di best food and protection..

Why pipo dey choose non-monogamy?

There is evidence that certain people might be better than others at managing multiple relationships at the same time.

Attachment theory describes how feelings of security or insecurity shape our relationships and might explain why some are less willing to share a partner.

Chris Fraley of the University of Illinois don dey odo questionnaire on top dis mata for 20 years.

Di only pattern wey dem don find be say more pay wey identify as gay, lesbian and bisexual dey more likely to choose di CNM lifestyle.

Dem also find say di pipo wey get greater need from dia relationships wey no one pesin go fit fill dey go for di lifestyle.

Di data also show say pipo wey no dey anxious or shy dey move to dat kain life.

Stigma

E dey normal to give platonic love or love for family to plenti pipo but for romance dem wan limit am to one.

Moors say e dey ridiculous to tink of those kain relationships say dem dey disgusting.

E say we dey demand too much from our patners, say make dem be our life guides, friends and confidants and dat na too much make dem put for one pesin.

You fit read di original English here: The benefits of having many lovers published by BBC Future.