Discover Your Greatness: 'Kiss the past goodbye!'

The great courageous act that we must all do is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams - Oprah Winfrey

Two Buddhist monks were walking just after a thunderstorm. They came to a swollen stream. A beautiful, young Japanese woman in a kimono stood there wanting to cross to the other side, but she was afraid of the currents of the swollen stream.

One of the monks said, “Can I help you?” “I need to cross this stream,” replied the woman. The monk picked her up, put her on his shoulder, carried her through the swirling waters, and put her down on the other side. He and his companion then went on to the monastery.

That night his companion said to him, “I have a bone to pick with you. As Buddhist monks, we have taken vows not to look on a woman, and much less touch her body. Back there by the river you did both.” “My brother,” answered the other monk, “I put that woman down on the other side of the river. You’re still carrying her in your mind.” That is exactly what most of us are experiencing in life; we crossed over into a new season with things and people who were supposed to remain in the past or on the other side of our lives.

Was your past thrilling or hurting, incredible or devastating, memorable or horrific? No matter your answer, it is time to kiss it goodbye! There are people, things, and experiences we never want to let go because they were fulfilling, monumental, and titillating; on the flip side, there are individuals, ‘stuff’, and situations we wouldn’t want to come across again forever given that they left us wounded, broken, vulnerable, and indignant.

Regardless of your experience in history, you have to be willing to jettison it if you really want to make great strides in life. Have you noticed that it is impractical to be engrossed in your rear mirror and concurrently make progress while driving? You would either be slowed down or crash.

Similarly in life, it is impossible to be mesmerized or imprisoned by your past while trying to make headway at the same time. To begin a new life in the present and embrace the future adequately prepared, American author, psychologist, and the host of the television show Dr. Phil, Phillip Calvin McGraw advised, “Stand up and walk out of your history.”

Most times what holds the future captive is not the present but the past — our history of failure, hurt, success, and precious moments which we are not willing to walk out of.

I know there are certain experiences in life no one can ever understand the impact they may have had on your life but only God. Nevertheless, your future is a precious and so glorious a price to use to remit the past. Your past is not worth losing your future for!

Someone once said, “Don't worry about the people in your past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future.” There is a reason why those things and people didn’t migrate through the realm of the past into the vestibule of the future with you. They belong to the past, hence leave them there.

Lecturer and author, Michael Cibenko said, “One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.”

Gary Barnett, Head Coach of the Wildcats football team in the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), after having an incredible success with his team in 1995 and being mindful of the natural affinity of people to fall in love with their past after a remarkable accomplishment, called a meeting in the auditorium of the football center.

As the players found seats in the gently banked rows of plush chairs, Barnett mounted the stage and announced that he was going to hand out the awards that many of the Wildcats had earned in 1995.

As Barnett called the players forward and handed them placards proclaiming their accomplishments, the 70-plus players in the room cheered and chanted their teammates’ names…. The players roared as Gary waved the placards representing his 17 national coach-of-the-year awards. Then, as the applause subsided, Gary walked to the side of the stage, stopping in front of a trash can marked “1995.” He took an admiring glance at his placard, then dumped it in the can.

As silence descended on the auditorium, Gary stepped to the side of the stage, then, one by one, the stars of the team dropped their placards on the top of Gary’s. Soon, the trash can was overflowing with the laurels of the previous season.

Coach Barnett had shouted a message to his assembled charges without uttering a word: What you did in 1995 was terrific, lads. But look at the calendar: its 1996. The only way to continue to achieve great things in the present and the future is to kiss the past goodbye.

See, if you are still awestruck by your past achievements, you have not grown. Despite how successful you were yesterday, if you are still captivated by it, you are gazing too frequent in the past.

Human beings have the propensity to hold on to the known though it is fruitless, mundane, and regressive than to embrace the unknown regardless of how promising it may seem.

The past can arrest your future, derail you, or slow you down, if you don’t kiss it goodbye. An old maxim says, “One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past.” You can’t live in the past and be significant in the present while being relevant in the future. It is like chasing two hares in the field, you would end up losing both.

The future only belongs to those who use their past hurts, failures, successes, and positive moments as a platform to address the issue of the future. Scottish satirical writer, essayist, historian and teacher during the Victorian era, Thomas Carlyle believed, “The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.”

The following are few suggestions to assist you kiss the past goodbye regardless of the impact:

Cherish the past - Regardless of how painful your past experiences may seem, you have to value them because they didn’t come to kill you but to make you a better person. Through your experiences you must become stronger, wiser, knowledgeable, and insightful.

There is a little inspirational wall art that says, “Cherish Yesterday. Dream Tomorrow. Live Today!” Cherish the past but don’t dwell there. Use it as fuel to propel your dreams into the future.

Learn from the past - One thing that makes the past valuable is the lessons we learn from it. You can benefit from the experiences of yesterday if you learn from them and use them positively and skillfully. American religious leader and author, Thomas Spencer Monson counseled, “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”

Let go of the past - You have to let go of the past to embrace the future and live in the present. Most people have given up on the future because of their constant meditation on yesterday. Their past dictates how they live the present and plan for the future.

Someone once said, “You need to remember to forget.” It is highly imperative to remember to forget your past. In other words, don’t spend your time dwelling in the past. Move on and experience new heights, people, and things.

It is no mean task to kiss the past goodbye especially if you have been so wounded by people, events, and the changing tides of life. Or having to work so hard and long to accomplish a lifelong dream only to kiss it goodbye.

It is my earnest desire that you would be empower today to kiss all your fears, pains, limitations, failures, past glories and successes goodbye as you embrace this season with focus and live today with certainty. Always remember, “Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties,” Gail Sheehy.