Letter from Buea to Yaounde

Dear Ngwa,

Please, do forgive me. I could not recover from the shock of seeing CPDM subordinates installing their bosses in their so called Regional and Divisional Coordinators - appointed people installing elected officials.

God forbid! That is the reason why I could not keep the rendezvous.

I saw your man, the Nkukuma, coming to visit his personal plantation again after a long stay at home in Europe.

As we speak, I am sure he is calling one Estate Manager after the other, to present the proceeds with which he will return home to Europe in the next few weeks and enjoy himself to the fullness of life.

I thought I heard his apologists saying that he was with his wife and daughter – the First Lady and First Daughter of the nation – in Europe, because the daughter had to be moved from Uncle Sam’s country before the day she had to be docked for certain misdemeanours.

I thought he would be coming back with both of them so that the child can stay here and be given the kind of honour that the likes of Prof Ngolles, give her father – the First Man. Like her father – she should be infallible in the eyes and hearts of such intellectuals.

But Ngwa, what does the law say about the maximum period for the Head of State to stay out? Verify and let me know.

Is it true that the chairman of the ngumba house fighting corruption earns FCFA 7 million a month? Also find out and tell me.

Have you been upcountry lately? What is happening to the custodians of our tradition who have been compelled to get into political mud fights with their subjects?

They would want to use orthodox means, including elimination of their subjects, just to become something in the chop people dem money party. But common internal elections, they cannot organise.

Lest I forget, I learnt that the outgoing man who manoeuvred himself into the Senate has been scheming to put an illiterate as his successor, so that the accounts under his mandate cannot be scrutinised.

It is alleged that he is wanting on that domain. These are the kinds of people who would be the first to vote the law on protection on MPs so that he would not be pursued.

As for the man he wants to be his successor, Ni Ngwa, if you think that I am lying, go to Nkambe now, and when you are with him alone, write letter ‘A’ as big as the Grandstand that has been named after him, and ask him what it is. He won’t recognise it. That is the kind of person the schemer from ‘Akriye - Afonoh’ county wants to impose as President.

And the bloke too is dying to be President. But as my friend, the Nigerian comedian, Gordon, would say; people should engage in things that fit them. “A chain fits a dog, but cannot fit a goat. A rope fits a goat, but cannot fit a dog. When you get to Nkambe, explain this to him. That is, if he will not remote-control life out of you.

Talking about royalty, the fight down here is tough. Battles are being fought and we fear that it may result in deaths in the royal family as happened some time ago.

If you can talk to some of your colleagues, politicians, out there; tell them that they should let reason prevail and let the right candidate become chief and get all to rally behind him and keep the esteem of the family and the whole municipality.

On a brighter note, the men and women of the chalk profession are converging here for this year’s correction of what is left of our Anglo-Saxon heritage. I hope they will keep our image high like their brothers of the gown-and-wig profession are fighting to maintain our Anglo-Saxon identity.

Ngwa, my ancestors will not forgive me if I end this letter without asking you this question. Is what is good for the goose good for the gander? If yes, our leader is in Europe every now and then to enjoy their food, drink, their ways and means.

He was there during the England leave-or-stay in the EU campaign and referendum. Why can’t he organise same here for the Southern Cameroons?

Please, ask him and tell me.

Am anxiously waiting

Mbella