Letter from Yaoundé to Buea

Dear Mbella

I am trying hard to become a master of your procrastination game. Yet, we did not give any chance to procrastination when the MPs played Oliver Twist and went violent. The hand clappers, who have graduated from being the people’s representatives, were finally given more “kussa” to line their pockets with.

They are now full representatives of their individual stomachs. Since the mouth that is eating does not talk, the Parliamentary rented jesters resolved to seal their lips when they received “les trois batons” each last week.

Never blame them Mbella. They are the people’s representatives and the people they represent are in their stomachs. The citizens who are complaining can go to hell. Let the professional hand clappers take care of the “people” in their stomachs before anything else.

I heard you people are asking for the earthquake that the leftists promised in Parliament. If you see the sizes of their stomachs, you will know that change has come. If you doubt it, go on and admire the latest models of their ostentatious cars. That’s change man! I wonder why Cameroonians are still complaining. The measuring rod they have for change is also the number of concubines they have in Soa, Bonamoussadi, Molyko, Dschang, Ngaoundere and Bambili. It is difficult to see a “people’s representative that does not have “une femme androïde”

You see, Mola, the only reason why the blow-out between those two ostentatious rented jesters did not come to a denouement is that NEC had to close shop at that time. The duo had been crossing verbal swords as to who strikes better shady deals in the house. There were accusations and counter accusations as to who is S by day and C by night. Yet, all of them professed loyalty to the Kadiye and his ideals of finger licking.

The seaport is a ruse of interest, so no friends, no enemies. We all know it that the FCFA is the cord with which the colonies were used to be tied to the economic apron strings of the Elysée. But the real enigma is why the 15 African Countries are still keeping the colonial currency during the Euro era. I wonder why the economic serfdom has continued despite proposals from UPA. If UPA had gone to Etoudi after the 2011 Presidential poll, the UM would have been our new currency. That would have been our economic independence.

By the way, Mola, no condition is permanent. What goes around comes around. Those who were up yesterday will be down tomorrow. That is why you must be kind to those you meet on your way up. Do to others what you would want them do unto you.

Lady Macbeth says it all; that life is like a walking shadow that disappears into oblivion when the sun vanishes into the capricious belly of the west. So let’s use the little time we have in this sinful world to be happy with our enemies.

Remember to heed your baptismal vows and the Ten Commandments. Stop blaming people for not having enough faith in God. You do not have any instrument for the measurement of Christian faith. Do not even blame men and women of God for not living up to their sermons. Keep your relationship with your God and live according to His will.

Remember that you received baptism in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It was not in the name of any Rev. Father, Sister or Pastor. If a priest violates his vows of poverty and chastity, pray for him rather than cursing him.

So, the brouhaha about a priest who is said to have sired children with a CWA mother in Bertoua, was not necessary. Sinful it was, but it should not be a topic for sustained gossips by real Christians.

The Christians should rather spend time praying for them to repent and get back to the rails Mbella, kindly hear my pleas and extend my regards to Enanga.

Your sincerely

Ngwa