The Collector's diary

After returning to base, I wrote my report immediately and forwarded to my boss. He remarked that it was good.

The boss is a very easy-going and comely man with a high sense of humour. In the afternoon, he took us to a small tavern in the neighbourhood of the office.

After we had ordered our drinks, he joked: “The report was correct but your escapades are not mentioned in it.” Or you don’t want to share the experience with me?” We remained silent.

Then he said he learnt that we had a swell time in Yaounde taking ‘patients’ to theatres which we had turned our hotel rooms into. Turning to our female counterparts, he said he learnt that they rather ‘offered’ themselves as patients to men they invited to Yaounde.

But we, the men, had seen ourselves as the bad guys and our female colleagues as decent ladies who stayed ‘untouched’, throughout our stay in Yaounde. Could we have imagined that as we went out, every evening, they were having affairs?

“Chei! Boss, were you spying on us?” Nathalie quizzed. “Anyway, that is my fiancé and he is resident in Yaounde,” she added.

Zella mounted her own defence: “I have been going out with my own man for one year and he is on leave and decided to spend part of it in Yaounde. I am hoping he would propose to me one of these days,”

“All in all, it shows that, while you did your work so well in Yaounde, you also had a nice time. Let’s drink to it,” the boss said and raised his glass. We all raised our glasses.

I had gulped a mouthful of the beer when I immediately remembered the “make me cry too” story. If I did not turn away fast, I would have sprayed the boss with it as I was seized by laughter. I choked as I laughed and coughed.

The boss asked what the matter was. After calming down, I narrated the story. The boss exploded in laughter, kicking the table and almost spilling the drinks.

He then got up: “I have had enough for the day. Let me return home.” He walked to his car continuously laughing.

The following week was uneventful. Then, we decided at a meeting that the organisation had to set up an antenna in Bakassi. I was given the task of procuring the items and taking them to Bakassi.

The driver, ‘The Pilot’, drove me over to Akwa-Douala to buy the items. We had to take them Limbe, stay the night so that we would take off by sea to Bakassi the following morning.

By the time we crossed the Bonaberi Bridge from Rond Point Deido, with the traffic hold-up, it was 7.00pm.

We saw a young woman waving and showing the direction of the Southwest. Before I could ask The Pilot to slow down, he had already swerved off the road and stopped in front of the young woman.

“Southwest?” she asked.

“Which town in the Southwest?,” I asked.

“Anyplace in the Southwest: Tiko, Mutengene or ...”

“We are going to Limbe,” The Pilot cut in.

“You can drop me in Mutengene,” she said and hopped in.

On the way, I asked what her name was and she said, Nalela. How old, 25.

Since The Pilot has a girlfriend in Limbe, he winked at me indicating that I should take Nalela.

“Won’t you follow us to Limbe? We will have fun and you can go to where you are going in the morning,” I said to her.

“I will think,” she said.

When we got to Tiko, The Pilot said; “Madam, haven’t you finished thinking? We are already in Tiko.”

“Ok, let’s go. But I will have to leave very early,” she said.

“No prob,” I said.

In Limbe, I decided to take a room in a cheap hotel so that I could give the rest of the money to Nalela.

I had not eaten since breakfast and I was hungry. I complained about it as we opened our second bottles.

When we got to the room, I went straight into the bathroom to relieve my bladder. By the time I came out, Nalela had already undressed and was under the sheets in bed. I climbed into the bed telling her that I would rest before anything can happen. Probably the hunger won’t let me sleep. So, I thought an intercourse might make me tired and I would sleep.

“Let’s do it so that we all go to sleep,” I said.

She got up, went to the bathroom, apparently washed her hands, came out and rummaged in her handbag.

“Eiee, I had forgotten that I had biscuits when you complained of hunger,” she said. I took two, munched and asked for the mineral water I had brought and drank about half a litre.

We were at it immediately. She, on top of me, asked that I suck her breast so that we reach cloud seven at the same time. She put her nipple into my mouth, I sucked, sucked and sucked and both of us exploded.

I turned when I heard a knock followed by the announcement of “room service.” I got up. I was so dazed. But I had taken just two beers. I usually take five before I have this kind of hangover.

What kind of room service at this early hour? I thought it was around 07.00am. I looked at the time on my phone, it was 11.00am. I recollected my mind. I was with Nalela. But where was she?

I saw by bag open. I sent my hand where I had kept FCFA 60,000 and it was gone.

I called The Pilot. He drove in immediately and i told him the story.

“She gave you cocaine either in the biscuit or she had rubbed it on the nipples of her breasts.”

The Collector