When you grow up

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Mon, 12 Jan 2015 Source: Kojo Yankson

It may have been a while since you were a child, but do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? An astronaut, a doctor, an engineer, a chef? I went through phases - from bus driver, through cowboy, ice cream seller and even toy shop owner (I figured I would close the shop and play all day with the toys).

We all had wild dreams of what we wanted to be, but as we grew, life's events started to shape our paths. maybe it was the advice of a teacher, or maybe you just wanted to be in the same class as your best friend… in University, you probably picked one course, but got given another, because your first choice was over-subscribed.

Maybe you went in a business student but came out with a social science degree. Who knows? Either way, you're now fifteen - twenty years into a career that bears no resemblance whatsoever to the dream you had as a kid. You're not doing badly, but you're not doing what you love either.

In the beginning, you may not have minded so much. Your plan might have been to do what you're doing for a few years, make some money, then go back to school to study your first love and get your life back on track.

But then you got married. You had kids. Suddenly, there were too many mouths to feed and too little time to follow your fantasies. Suddenly, there were bills to pay, and your monthly salary became your lifeline. Taking a break to pursue interests that wouldn't immediately pay the bills became an irresponsible option to consider. Suddenly, it was too late. Suddenly, you were stuck.

So today, you watch others, young people. You listen to them talking about growing to become musicians, movie directors, magicians, and you smile, shake your head and tell them to snap out of it and stop dreaming. My dear friends, they may be dreaming, but you are in a coma.

But let me be clear: I am NOT standing in judgement over you. You're not doing anything wrong. In fact, you're not doing anything at all. You're playing it safe. That's what happens when you stop daring to dream. It's what happens when your ambition loses the tug-of-war against your circumstances. It's what happens to ninety percent of the world's population, and there is no shame in being among the majority.

But there is no glory either. The happiest ten percent of the world are those doing what they love and being paid for it. And you, my friend, even now in your thirties, your forties, your fifties… even now, it's not too late for you to live your dream. I have three words for you: YOU'RE NOT STUCK.

I know you think you are, but trust me, you're not stuck. I know you've been doing your job for twenty years, and you think you're too old to start afresh, but I promise you, this is the best time to start pursuing your dream. And I'm not being whimsical, describing some unrealistic dream that you can get excited about on Monday morning and forget about by Tuesday. No, this is real and achievable!

First of all, starting afresh doesn't mean getting up this morning and quitting your 20 year career in banking to start playing the guitar for a living. It means starting your dream on the side. it means making a plan. It means setting yourself a deadline, a target, and breaking it down into bite-sized, time-bound goals.

It means taking advantage of the fact that your children are no longer babies in need of your daily attention, and turning a little of that focus onto yourself. It means enrolling in school on a part time basis while you continue to work and pay the bills. It means finding like-minded people in your community, or on the internet, and forming a support group to make the change together.

It means looking in the mirror this morning and seeing that young, ambitious immortal with a dream still there behind the pot belly and cellulite. It's still you, my friend, but an even better version of yourself, because now, you have experience as well as ambition. If you were vibrant and driven in your youth, then in your maturity, you are unstoppable.

My aunt, Mrs Eugenia Atta-Sonno, will be 70 this year. She obtained a law degree at the age of 56! After doing something else entirely for over half a decade, she suddenly decided she wanted to be a lawyer, so in spite of her age, in spite of her responsibilities, she just got up and did it. What's your excuse? My name is Kojo Yankson, and for me, it's never too late to be better, until I'm dead.

Auteur: Kojo Yankson