Would you borrow from your father your mother?

I wonder how you would define the word, “borrow”. I would term it “taking something that belongs to someone from that person in order to use it and return it”. If that is what it is, then I believe that each of us must have borrowed at one point or another in our lives, even if we did not “return”it, intentionally or unintentionally.

That being the case, I learned a sobering lesson from borrowing once when I was a student in France. It happened when those of us from our batch in the Bilingual Series of the ENS in Bambili were sent to France by the Cameroon government for French studies. We were on government scholarship and so had a scholarship paid to us for our upkeep on a monthly basis.

We were six who went to France on that ticket: Nsahlai Stephen, Nyiawung Philip (today of blessed memory), Tinkuh Yembeh (today Principal of GHS Tanbenken), Maggie Aweh (later Mrs Maggie Taiti of GTHS Bamenda), Ntembe Paul Amombi today in the USA, Mua John Tem in Douala and Yours faithfully.

We received our allowances regularly until at one point, the money did not come. We were kept waiting for three months.

After realizing that the Cameroon Embassy in Paris could not help, we decided to write to the “government” in Yaounde. However, some Cameroonians who had lived longer in France advised us not to write because as they put it, the regime of President Ahmadou Ahidjo (Cameroon`s president at the time) would view it as dissent and clamp down on us. Our detractors warned us that at the very least, such a letter might not be answered. Even so, we still wrote, and sent the letter to the Prime Minister at the Time. I think it was Bello Bouba. Then we waited for another month or so but nothing came from Yaounde.

One us, Maggie suggested that if she wrote and asked her dad in Cameroon for a small loan, he could send it and when the money came she would pay him back. This looked a very good prospect for those of us who had nobody back at home to whom we could write for money. So, Maggie wrote and asked her father. Her dad sent her the money promptly and were all overjoyed because Maggie was able to give each of us something to tide us over.

Nonetheless, Maggie`s letter was accompanied by a letter that set us thinking very hard about borrowing from parents. The letter said something to this effect: “My dear daughter, I thank you for writing and asking me to send you money which you need but which you said you would pay back when you receive your allowances from the government. I would want to know whether you will also pay me back all the money I have spent on you since you were born”.

That was it: words of wisdom from a wise parent. Interestingly, shortly after that, the Prime Minister wrote back to us and informed us that our allowances had been sent to the Cameroon Embassy in Paris for immediate payment. The letter also indicated that the allowances had been increased! We were paid everything we were owed on that occasion and thereafter.