Religion Jokes

What is God's First Name?

One day St. Peter was sitting at the steps of the gates to
heaven, fiddiling with his fingers, then suddenly he
hears "excuse me sir, I recollect your supposed to let me in
heaven."

St. Peter looks up and he sees Forrest Gump. So he stands
up tall and starts by saying, "In order for me to let you
in, I must ask you 3 questions."

Forrest says, okay hit me." St. Peter asks," How many
seconds are in a year?"

It takes Forrest some time to answer and then he comes up
with,"Okay, I'm ready now."

St. Peter says well give me your answer."

Forrest says,"there are 12 seconds in a year."

St. Peter asks,"Well how did you come up with that
answer?"

Forrest replies,"Well sir, see i took my time on this one
and i thought about it over and over in my head
and i thought, hey, Jan. 2, feb. 2, mar. 2..."

St. Peter says, "Well that answers pretty good so I'll give
you the next one. How many days of the week start
with the letter 'T'?"

Forrest replies, "Hhuumm....okay sir my answer is today and
tomorrow"

Well St. Peter doesn't want to know were that answer came
from so he lets it swing by. St. Peter asks the
third question, "Whats gods first name?"

Forrest was thinking on this one really hard, so he asks
"Can I go back to earth and think about this one?"

St. Peter says okay you got 2 days."

So Forrest went to earth and then came back 2 days later
and he came back running and screaming, " I got it, I got
it," all out of breath he says to St. Peter, " It's
Howard."

St. Peter looks puzzled and asks, "How did you get that?"

Forrest says, "I found it in the Bible, it read: Our
father, who art in heaven, HOWARD be thy name."

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