Religion Jokes

Before Lightning Strikes...

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught
stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it
was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned
around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to
pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll
stop drinking!"

Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was
getting closer! He prayed again,
"God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND
cussing!"

Still nothing . . . and the train was just seconds away! He
tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out
of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and
having sex with all the women I meet."

Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to
dive out of the way, just as the train passed! He got up,
dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said "Thanks
anyway God, I got it myself."

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