The 100GigaBurg Bug
- Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our
beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the
number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number
now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB).
Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to
100GB. McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago,
when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers
seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two decimal
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger,
McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This,
experts predict, will convince the public that, in over
thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been
sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost
certain to force the already-troubled company into
bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering American
economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the
total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization
as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared
of 100GB," one expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm
digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN
INSECTS and heading for the hills."