Top 10 Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid
10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream
9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.
8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping
7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are
6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in
5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork
4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie
3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard
and I'll put the hurt on you."
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"