Beer Jokes

What Your Drink Says About You

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed
separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin
boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send
YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more
years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated,
actually has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get
drunk...and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but
wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is,
as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything but
getting laid.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag
something.

White Zin: He's gay.

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